I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
