I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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