i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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