but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
