i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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