you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Are my feet made of real feet?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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