What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I could have mohawked her pubes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
