im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
