I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
