i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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