ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
