so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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