I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
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Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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