i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
