i permit you to call me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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