so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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