the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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