I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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