Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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