Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
