apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
