I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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