do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
