Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want to make out with him forever
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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