this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
