Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
