apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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