Do vagina's smell?
do herpes really smell.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There r osticjed everywhere
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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