Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
