are you still at the devil's house?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
