just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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