i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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