I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
