i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
