Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
