i think my tv is drunk
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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