umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize