My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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