Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
