last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
