And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
