Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
