All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize