I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
