You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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