I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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