So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
