So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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