Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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