OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
