If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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