Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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