I got chris browned last night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
