idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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