I don't usually arrange sex via text message
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
