Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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