dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
