I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
