all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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