i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
