That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
