Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
