Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
