so let's talk penis.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
