i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
