I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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