I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
