You work out of a Hotel?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
