All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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