I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
