she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
