I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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