I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
