we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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