i think my mom watched the whole time
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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